These problems should be left to the trained professionals. Otherwise, you’ll either attract a partner that has the savior complex (see above) or you’ll attract a partner with the same issues. I realize that in order to meet men you need to get out there and be sociable, whether “out there” means the local ski club or the local web scene and I’m all for that. But if you’re not actively pursuing your own interests at the same time, then there’s a problem.
You're worried your standards are too high, so you figure maybe you should just settle. Your friends and family have warned you that he’s a player, or a loser, or a (enter your favorite derogatory term for a bad boyfriend here) but you’ve written them off, believing that you’re going to be the one woman that can change him into the perfect partner. Find what makes you happy before you’re in a relationship, then find someone to share that happiness with. What this really means is that they’re looking for dysfunction so that they have the drama in their lives that they subconsciously crave. That one’s tough to answer, because it entails really looking at yourself and your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors in a real, open, and honest way. And that’s when I asked myself this very same question and I realized that I didn’t like the answer. So how do you know if you’re ready for a relationship before you start one with either the wrong guy or Mr. If you’re showing any of these warning signs, it means you have some work to do on yourself before you can be in a healthy, happy relationship with someone else: 1. This typically happens because you’re subconsciously trying to sabotage the relationship from the beginning by choosing a guy who’s not actually relationship material. If you get an invite to a party or event, and you don’t have a man to bring, then you’re likely to make up an excuse, send your regrets, pass up the night out and sit at home feeling sorry for yourself because you are “oh, so alone.” Then, you spend the entire night Googling “best places to meet men” and reading articles about what men find attractive instead of doing something that would make you happy (like going to the party you were invited to.) The truth is that if you did meet a great guy while in this mindset, you’d hold on so tight so quickly that you’d most likely strangle the relationship anyway. Many women have a savior complex and they find themselves a project guy.If life were one big bumper car game, and we were all afraid of getting hurt, we would be a little more gentle with each other, wouldn’t we be? But unless you have very, very strong convictions to be single for the rest of your life (hey there, my nuns sisters! We’ve all received the memo, and we are all okay with it. If you are afraid to enter a relationship because you don’t think you have time, there is a much bigger problem, here, and it has nothing to do with relationships. Are they leading to actual, legitimate reasons for concern? (I wish someone would have pounded this into my brain years ago.) If you really want to be in that relationship, you will make it work because you won’t see any other option.So let’s just all agree to be more honest with each other about our feelings, and more kind to one another in our relationships, and hope that some asshole doesn’t break the rules and ram us from out of nowhere, sending us to the chiropractor. You are hiding behind your work/hobby/Law & Order obsession! If your job is standing in the way of the possibility of you feeling happy and fulfilled in a relationship and in love, what else will it stand in the way of? Say the girl you have been seeing always wears culottes. And it drives you crazy and makes you uncomfortable and makes you think “ehh I don’t… Long distance relationships are a shit-ton of work.